BREAKING FREE!
Years ago I was part of an
art group that did a challenge
where we were given a
monthly prompt from which
to write a Haiku.
I really enjoyed the Haiku
writing and the creativity it brought.
Once our Haiku was written, we
were to create a small art piece
that represented our Haiku.
Breaking Free
Bound by darkness then
bubbling want from within
Breaking free, blooming.
When "beginnings" was our
prompt, I found myself thinking
a lot about my past and how many
"beginnings" I had been offered
over the years and not taken advantage of.
WHY?? FEAR!!
It made me think about where
I wanted my design career to go and
how much fear was still holding me back.
I want to bloom!
I want to be bolder!
I want to be everything I know I can be!!
I thought about all obstacles I had
already overcome and how it feels like
a maze as you daily maneuver your way
through the world, your feelings, your healing,
and all your relationships (some knowing, most not!)
Forty years after the sexual abuse
and somedays it
still feels like yesterday.
I can be cruising along, all going well,
and then one little trigger and I just
want to curl into a ball and give it all up.
I don't talk about this publicly
and I rarely talk about it privately
because it is terribly uncomfortable
for most people including me!
It is time to STOP being afraid!!!
The original art piece is
only about 7" x 9" and had
grommets so I could put all
the Haiku art pieces together.
It is all painted and machine
quilted from a sketch I drew.
The browns represent the dark
times with blue feeling like
waves crushing and /or uplifting
me depending on the day.
Green is the new growth and
the blooming of healing and growing.
You will notice the colors all
intermingle because life isn't all
good or bad no matter what the
struggle is that you are dealing with.
When it came time to create the
pattern, I knew it most closely
resembled a log cabin and so that
is how it is written.
I tried to stay as true to my original
idea as possible because I loved it so!
True to form I am running a bit
behind so here is a top minus
the embroidery/quilting.
If you follow me on my FB page,
you will get to watch it grow
as I post updates on finishing it.
The pattern has been tested, I promise:)
Back to the topic...
As I stated in my last post HERE,
I have joined an awareness group.
This month it is my turn and I
chose this design to bring awareness to
Sexual Abuse.
My story is that I was abused
all through my teenage years.
I attempted suicide.
I thought I was Alone!
Please know that as much as
you loathe hearing about what
we are going through, we 1000%
more hate dealing with it on a
constant basis.
We don't tell anyone all the times
we are reminded of it or are dealing with it!!
We suffer in silence!
I made many choices in life
that aggravated my suffering.
These decisions were made out of guilt,
shame, and fear of not being loved.
Those who support us have no idea how
thankful we are for your understanding,
BELIEVING US,
your shoulder to cry on,
your friendship and love!!
We don't talk about these
people enough!!
We don't give them enough credit
for dealing with our emotional
outbursts and bad behavior.
THANK YOU!
I was one of the few fortunate ones who
found a wonderful, loving man
who helped me heal while
dealing with WAY MORE
than he bargained for when he
married me.
We raised 2 amazing children
and I didn't mess them up
anymore than anyone else.
I am eternally grateful for
him and them for showing
me real love and joy.
It has been a life of constant healing.
It NEVER goes away!!
MY hope is that we will all become
better listeners. It is extremely uncomfortable
but every time one chooses not to listen,
the survivor feels all the lies are true!
My other hope is that all those suffering
in silence will find the courage to
find a support group.
There is hope for a better life, I promise!
You have to work for it just
like anything else but you
are worth putting in the effort for.
You are NOT Alone!!
Please help a friend
by just listening when needed.
It isn't an easy subject to hear
about but it means the world to that
one person to have someone hear
them, believe them, and allow them
to have those moments when the world
is too much.
My charity is RAINN.
RAINN does so much in the way of
educating, counseling, & training.
They offer a safe and confidential
place to reach out and find the
assistance and someone to listen,
so desperately needed.
If you are open to quilting for a cause
and want to try something a little less
traditional whilst helping another,
my pattern can be found HERE.
For every pattern purchased, $8
will be donated to RAINN.
Thank you to Carolyn Burgess and
the other designers sharing their stories.
I THANK YOU from the bottom of
my heart if you read all the way to
the bottom of my public moment!!
You are FAB!
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